If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
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She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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