Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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