The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Randomize
