i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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