Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
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No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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