I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize