make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh god it's open bar.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
