he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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