4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
