that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
