CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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