remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
