whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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