Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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