that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
