I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I want her autograph on my taint
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
