I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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