you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
