I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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