i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
