my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
