Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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