This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
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Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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