we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
