C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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