If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
