Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
