We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
