OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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