i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
