see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
