Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
