i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
