I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
