just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
