He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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