I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
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In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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