you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
