and she was petting her beer can
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
