And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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