I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
