Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
