so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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