fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
