The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
