I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
