I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
