That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize