everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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