I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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