i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
