dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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