she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
