Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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