u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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