Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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