I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
