we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
