They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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