Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
