can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
