i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
