i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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