Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
