VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
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I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
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