im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
porn star boner night. come get it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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